DO'S AND DON'TS

Baby Playing with dirt

Hello!! This here post will cover some random, some obvious, and some outright strange do's and dont's during conception up to birth and even after, as experienced by me, making me believe that getting pregnant and raising children in Kenya is a long ride hehe. Some of course I had no idea about until it was too late to practice, while others yet seemed minor but came in handy at some point or other, so read on, be enlightened and entertained in equal measure 😏

DO'S

Do keep an open mind on all matters, as you might come across helpful information that will help for instance not eating too much junk food lest toto gets diabetic before birth. Gestational diabetes is a major cause of some pretty bad things like an overweight baby that will require a CS, feeding and sleeping problems for the baby (which kinda transfers to you), some health implications for the baby and a host of others. What to do if you crave that chocolate like crazy then, you ask? Reach for it and relish it, just a small portion, but keep the confectionery and generally unhealthy options at bay for as long and as much as you can, and toto and your body will thank you later.

Do have a birth plan, but keep it flexible as anything can happen at any point, as they say hope for the best but prepare for the worst, and this is not being pessimistic, trust me, my caesarean need not have been as terrible in the long term if only I had kept it on the back burner and known that it might be an eventuality, and I would have suffered a lot less than I did so take it from me and keep a positive outlook, but also consider all options.

Do listen to everyone's advice, but don't necessarily take it especially if it goes against your better judgement and intuition. When pregnant you will learn how helpful people can be, though sometimes that help is obnoxious and totally uncalled for. You can be whatever you want to strangers but try not to fit the 'pregnant woman' stereotype to a T haha. It gets a bit complicated however when dealing with family, and in-laws for that matter, as perceived disobedience will earn you a burden you don't need to carry now and in the long run, so let peace prevail, and just go along to get along, and this is something I normally detest but desperate times..... 😅

Do keep active, especially if you have an uncomplicated pregnancy and don't have strange random aches and pains, it will make it easier to lose those rolls of baby fat later, and be beneficial in managing labor when the time comes. It will also help with your mood(s) and you will generally feel better and happier throughout your pregnancy.

Do prepare early for your hospital visit, it's a headache you don't need discovering you forgot to bring something important like documents for baby, or in the event of birth diapers, linens, socks, and mittens, as it is often the details that get left behind. 

Do eat a healthy and nutritious diet, and whisper a hallelujah if you can make your food well balanced enough to avoid having to take supplements because it is always best to get the minerals and vitamins in their natural form.

Do research, and be as informed as you possibly can be as you get on with your journey because knowledge is power and you will be better placed to make decisions when backed by an informed opinion.

Do rest enough, and put your feet up as often as you can, and also get to bed as early as you can reasonably get away with because you need this rest to keep stress at bay which is a harbinger of lots of nasty little things. Try, however, to give attention to your needs, because you still need this even though you're now a super human being (read mum) 😏.

Do get any issue that persists with baby checked out and do not ignore things you feel might be serious same as with yourself after baby is born. Put the sixth sense you get gifted with as a mom to good use and be the very best to everyone around you especially tiny tot who literally depends on you for survival.

DON'TS
Don't sweat the small stuff, like baby in the picture eating dirt with reckless abandon which is enough to cause any new mom days or even weeks of worry and thoughts of whether the food they cook for baby really tastes worse than dirt haha. These little things don't make you a failure as a parent, and though you should not literally leave them to be raised by nature (and the wolves, though there's none in Kenya but you get the drift), you should not worry yourself into a stroke over such issues as they tend to resolve themselves.

Don't  ignore anything, as even the smallest ill feeling can be symptom that just might save your baby and you a lot in the long run, so if you have an ache and your gut tells you to have it checked out, then don't hesitate to do so.

Don't turn away any help you can get at this time, for now and later, save the modesty for another time as there is no valor in wearing yourself out, you will not be able to be the totally present mum your baby needs if you are sick with exhaustion and spread yourself too thin.

Don't set strange goals and standards or form comparisons with others, our bodies and systems are all different. Just because your friend gained 5 extra kilos over her pregnancy does not mean you're a fat slob for gaining 10, similarly if they lost the baby weight in a month does not mean that this is the standard to keep. Be true to yourself and do your best, and be calm in the knowledge that you are honest to yourself.

Don't drink alcohol, take recreational drugs, and even prescription drugs need some care, do I really need to stress this? What you consume gets passed on to baby's gut which is young and can't process most of the things adults can, so watch what you consume and be mindful of your little one over pregnancy and while nursing as some substances we take are soluble in breastmilk. If you do get a condition that needs medication be sure to get your doctors ok first. Also, some drugs may negatively impact you if you are in the process of trying to conceive so do take care.

Don't stress yourself over issues that you can deal with after you deliver, though this is not to say do not do any planning whatsoever, but dirty clothes and such will always be around. Take this period to plan about the long term; write down your future goals and what you intend to do to to achieve them, bond with your baby while they are in the womb and when they come into the world, and enjoy the bliss that this period brings, especially if it is the very first pregnancy  because you will not get this chance ever again 😩

Don't lose yourself in the moment(s) and forget that you have needs though this is easier said than done. You are an individual human being and though you will probably be walking into a supermarket to pick up some lipstick or ice cream you crave then mentally calculating how many diapers/toys/mittens you could get for the same price, indulge yourself every now and then. Love your baby and put them first, but don't neglect yourself, as I am sure your spouse and babies as well when they grow up will appreciate a neat mum who took some care of herself and didn't 'let herself go' 😉

Finally, Don't let anyone bring you down, you have taken a difficult test and passed it, and all your thoughts and feelings are justified as long as they are not over the top lol. If anyone calls you hormonal or any of that other stuff that the ignorant like throwing about, be sure to respond along the lines that 'my hormones brought a life into the world and nurtured it' and hold your head up high because mama, you made it!

I hope this lifted your spirits and gave you some idea on how to go about your journey, and of course I welcome any input you may have in the comments section. Have yourselves a lovely week and a great journey ahead, see you! 💖